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Dogma
The
art of party infiltration is equally dependent on a state of
mind and attitude as it is on the mastery of specific techniques.
First off - you can't take yourself, or anyone else, too seriously.
Secondly, while not taking yourself seriously, you have to exude
an air of confidence. Thirdly, the rules are different for men
and women.
Sneaking into parties cannot be confused with getting into clubs.
These are completely different animals. Clubs have bouncers at the
door. Parties have publicists at the door. Publicists are soft.
Clubs charge a ton for drinks. Parties give the drinks away. Bouncers
judge you by how you look. Publicists judge you by who you "say"
you are. Worlds apart.
Every party situation is unique and calls for a different strategy.
Many times you’ll need to use a number of techniques in conjunction
with one another. Here are a few of my favorites.
One of the easiest ways to get into a party is the "invisible, sneak-by".
This is most effective when performed in conjunction with another
old stand-by, "in with the crowd". This works best when there is
only one person at the door. You wait nearby until a large crowd
arrives, mill around, slide through when the door person is dealing
with the crowd. It’s important not to make eye contact with anyone,
but you don’t want to appear nervous or hurried. While this is one
of the easiest, it is also one the most dangerous, if you get busted,
you gotta think quick on your feet. A good escape clause is to say
you where already inside, just stepped out to get some air.
Another good one is the "upside down guest list read". Most publicists
are onto this one, so you’ve got to look for one with a "weak" clipboard
hand. A simple enough strategy, you approach, give a fake name with
the last name beginning with a popular first letter for last names.
While they search for the non-existent name, you read a name off
the list and offer it as a second option. "Oh, you know, I might
be under James Rodgers, he’s my agent".
One that takes a little more preparation and chutzpah is the "full
on disguise-bum rush". I’ve used a tool belt (maintenance),walkie
talkie (security), clipboard (publicist), fireman’s coat (fireman).
The best of all is a long white coat and a bucket of water. When
stopped at any checkpoint you reply- "I work here". This technique
is an all or nothing, if you get busted, you bail out.
One of the least glamorous, most conniving, yet effective ways to
get into these private affairs is research coupled with bold face
lying. Here’s what you do. Find out where a party is being thrown,
it’s usually a restaurant or party rental spot. Call and ask if
there’s a dress code. Then slip in "oh, by the way, do you know
the publicity firm throwing the party tonight?" You call the firm
and say, "I’m so-and-so, and I work for blah-blah magazine-freelance-.
I just got back from vacation and found your invite on my desk.
My editor wants me to do a write up on your party, will you put
me on your guest list?"
Never fails.
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